You Can Learn All You Need to Know in Business From Conan the Barbarian
“What is steel compared to the hand that wields it?”
I’m a voracious reader, but not a big fan of business books. I won’t belabor this – but how many times in a career do you need some pompous ass telling you to “always hire people smarter than you” to realize that that makes the CEO the stupidest person in the company? Well, perhaps I can think of a few that may resemble that remark, but I don’t think shareholders like t to subscribe to that theory. Alternatively, there’s a Bruce Springsteen line in No Surrender: “We learned more from a three minute record than we ever did in school.” My one exception – Dilbert - if that is considered a business book. Because I’m all in for the wisdom of Scott Adams.
So let’s get back to the title – Conan the Barbarian. I refer to the 1982 Dino De Laurentiis film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. So how can an Austrian-born actor (and former California Governator) playing a comic book heathen from the days before “the oceans drank Atlantis…” shed any light on a the trials of a 21st century CEO? Well, “Let me tell you of the days of high adventure!”
First, Conan (the barbarian, not late night TV host) had laser focus (even if he had no idea what a laser was). Since some of you (remarkably) may not Conan’s story, in a nutshell: As a young boy Conan’s nomadic tribe is invaded by the evil snake-worshiping sorcerer, ThulsaDoom (James Earl Jones), killing his parents and all of their buddies, and kidnapping Conan and the other children to be sold into slavery. Poor Conan gets chained to a spoke on this big wheel, providing the human power to run agrindstone out in the middle of East-Overshoe, Eurasia.
Now, when Conan starts his labor, there are a few dozen other unfortunates chained to the spokes alongside him. Fast forward ten years or so. Apparently everyone else has perished but Conan. And he’s still grinding away. Except he’s really ripped now. Ten years of manual labor will do that (if it doesn’t kill you). Maybe this is why they started calling work “the grind.” Anyway, that’s a lot of focus, and I’m sure he crushed a lot of grain. But he had focus: revenge. Survive and find the murderer of his parents. If some business book-author asked Conan, “What kept him awake at 2AM, other than the wheel?” he’d likely have said, “revenge.” No distractions. No whales to save, no SOX seminars to attend. Focus: a good thing for a CEO: maybe not chained to a wheel, and perhaps not looking for revenge. But focus: growing revenue and getting the company profitable.
Eventually, Conan is discovered by a guy whose CV reads “gladiator manager.” But the “off-Broadway” version; not the Coliseum. Conan rises to gory stardom: “In time, his victories could not easily be counted.” So he is taken east, and, living with a Genghis Khan-like clan, gets to study advanced swordsmanship and poetry. So he gets even more formidable. And smarter. Now, while the revenge motive is still driving him, Conan now learns another dimension that is important to his ultimate success. While fighting for his life in the gladiator pits:
He did not care any more... life and death... the same. Only that the crowd would be there to greet him with howls of lust and fury. He began to realize his sense of worth... he mattered.
“He Mattered…He began to realize his sense of worth.” A sense of worth – a way of measurement. For Conan, it was being greeted with “howls of lust and fury.” Today, that sounds like an earnings call. Seriously, the sense of worth is an important factor for a CEO. We can find in in KPIs – the key measurements upon which our business can plot our progress. Including the stock price, a report card that may not mean much on a day-to-day basis, but certainly will reflect those howls of lust and fury over the long run.
As CEOs, we face adversary frequently. Adversary wears many faces. It can be competition. Or law suits. Adversary comes in the form of shareholder activists. Cranky VCs. And deals lost, or accounts churned out. That we face adversary is a given. Handling adversary with strength and courage and humor is a lesson we can learn from Conan. Let’s start when Conan is plotting to break into one of Thula Doom’s outpost, where he meets a fellow thief, Valeria, soon to be his lover.
Valeria: Do you know what horror lies beyond that wall?
Conan: No.
Valeria: Then you go first.
Later, Conan and crew are captured and brought beforeKing Osric. Surely, Conan and his two companions will in the best case be thrown into the dungeon. And the King is duly pissed: “What daring! What outrageousness! What insolence! What arrogance!” And Conan hangs his head, knowing that important lesson: “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” But the King softens. And smiles. “I salute you.” For only Conan, a barbarian, a common thief, had the courage to stand up to the evil Thulsa Doom – to face his adversary directly and courageously. And of course, who can argue with the simple business axiom of “Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. And hear the lamentations of the women.” Oh well, as I mentioned, it was a different era.
I could go on, but I’ll close with a subtle message implicit in Schwarzenegger’s performance: “Don’t talk – act.” Now, the cynic would say that Arnold’s accent at the time was still so strong, and his talents so fledgling, that too much dialog was a risk. But whatever the reason in the movie, the best leaders don’t do a lot of talking. They don’t have to tell you how great they are. We can see it in the way the have single-minded purpose, and measurements, and are not afraid to face adversity. We can all learn from those simple truths.
So I’m not going to say that Conan the Barbarian is my favorite movie, but…
Yeah, actually I am. “Let us take the world by the throat and make it give us what we desire.”